Who am I now?

Do you have the sense that the core of yourself has changed and life doesn’t quite fit anymore?  A bit like your most favourite loved outfit which you’ve felt great in for many special occasions.  You pull it out of the wardrobe, it doesn’t excite you, try it on, it no longer fits like it used to and doesn’t represent who you are now, this all happened without you being totally aware until you tried on that outfit and looked in the mirror seeing someone different now.

So it’s time to go find that new exciting set of life circumstances which fit you now.  Scary but that’s the adventure of living fully, creating a life you love free of the chains which hold you down.

I feel this year (2018) has been a series of consciousness expanding tune-ups, one after another, with little time between to integrate and see how that works in your life and how they change your values and desires.  Time wise this began 1 January and continued until end of March, making it difficult to keep track of time.  Now we have that space to slow down and see what this means.

We may find some of our relationships don’t work anymore, the joy the shared visions, dreams and desires don’t match anymore.  The work we loved no longer has the same ability to fire our enthusiasm and get us going in the morning.  The course of study and learning we’d chosen for ourselves no longer excites us and fires our drive for moving forward.

The place we live in no longer gives that sense of sanctuary and home.  We know we want something more.  There may be one or more areas we no longer fit into with ease and enjoyment.  Our soul knows they’re not right and yet logically we know these were perfect before, so a little war may ensue as we try and be alright with what we had planned for ourselves.

Then there is the next step, our Soul self won’t allow us peace so re-evaluation comes, there must be change, those areas of discomfort have to be faced fully and reworked, the old released.  An old adage says “as we close one door another door opens”. This I have always found is true and exciting, though scary as well as we step into the unknown.

As we give permission for change magical things can happen, we  may receive lightbulb moments which show us something we’ve not been able to see before or we open the door to the Akashic records, that place where the stories of what we had to see, work through and evolve become clear and with that knowledge, blocks cleared.  Freedom to go forward in peace and a sense of joy, can come for you.

Much as this all seems so hard, we need these times of realisation and change if we are going to evolve into Human Beings who are centred in love, trust, joy and connection rather than fears, resistance and anger.  This journey has been named as Ascension – Shift in Consciousness and is happening all around the world and for each human in differing degrees.

The effects of this Ascension are many and can include:-

Physical imbalance leading to a myriad of symptoms:-

  • Headaches
  • Pain
  • muscle tightness
  • skin disorders – eczema & psoriasis
  • Heart palpations
  • Blood pressure too low or too high
  • digestive upsets

Emotional Disturbances – emotions are energy in motion – showing energy needing rebalance

  • Anger
  • Sadness
  • Fear
  • Worry

Feeling

  • Grief
  • Despondent
  • Aimless
  • Can’t access happy and joyful thoughts.

Spiritually

  • A need to open and explore more in this field.  Meditation, quietness, find still space to explore this realm within your world.

All of this process is stimulating us to change rapidly and this is not only for ourselves but others around us too, so the stability and centre we used to know is moving, all in accord with our higher divine plan.  Exciting but also takes a lot of work and supportive measures to balance and feel comfortable.

Find the people and quiet space which will support you.  Energy work such as Reiki, crystals, intuitive massage, yoga, Tai Chi are all supportive.  Addressing nutritional needs is important, our nervous system and adrenals are challenged through this time.  Magnesium in a form we can assimilate is very important as are calming, and grounding healthy foods, herbs which support nervous system and adrenals, some of which are Oats, Valerian, Passion Flower, Withania (Indian Ginseng), Bacopa, Rhodiola, St John’s Wort for the Winter blues.  You may need a naturopath to advise you on the best prescription here.  Flower and crystal essences assist us to stay balanced emotionally.

Most of all love and nurture yourself through this time.  It is challenging and bigger than past life situations in many cases and  yet when we hold our centre we will move through it and find the blessings and growth we’ve earned.

Past lives & energy work to rebalance

 

I’m going to call my experience a past life, though I can’t guarantee this is a past life, it may be a time-line I’m reading, it may be described as reading Akashic records, or perhaps just reading the collective consciousness,  it doesn’t matter what we call it but this is my experience.

Over this last 8 months, I have had several flu like virus illnesses which have sapped my energy and is so unlike the way I am normally.  After a while of coughing, high inflammation and lowered vitality its time to get some help to lift my spirits and that’s where I turn to someone who has developed the high level of skills in energy work that match mine, my lovely soul sister Jan Winslade.  Lucky she lives down the road now and it is easy for me to get a treatment with her.

So before Christmas I booked in and as soon as I got on the table the Spirit voices came crowding in, one very loud and angry saying no-one is listening to me, no-one is listening to me.  We opened to her and this is the time-line that emerged.  She was a young American-Indian woman who was out communing with the plant devas and gathering herbs which she used to treat the maladies of her tribe.  She was the chief’s daughter and had 2 brothers and a lovely wise mother, her family were all involved in keeping order and caring for their community.

When she returned to the village, a teepee community located in a lush green basin by a river she found a scene of dark desolation, every one of her tribe had been killed in very brutal ways and their tepees knocked down some still burning.  Colour and life was gone, her brothers broken, no-one left to talk to.  The sense of unfairness, anger and grief settled on her along with a feeling of having let everyone down by not being there to help.

I realised as we connected with her that all that heaviness and grief has been a part of what I’ve felt since I can remember and was compounded when my father died while I was aged 7.  Some people have said they see sadness in me and I look in the mirror and see that reflected in my eyes myself often.  As I hear other peoples stories of pain, those feelings stir.

I have always been aware of that American-Indian connection and not wanted to explore it, it was just something that was there and a bit boring because of its familiarity.  My cousin’s Nana had bought them American-Indian dolls male & female, beautifully dressed in leather clothes, coloured bead necklaces, turquoise jewellery and feather headbands.  Those dolls were alive for me and held a fascination I couldn’t understand.  Years ago I commissioned a spirit guide painting and it  showed a wise American-Indian man and was accompanied with his story.  I was so disappointed because I knew that guide and had been aware of him for so long.  I wanted to see something exciting something new I didn’t know.  I never connected with that guide and I understand now this was because of the deep pain that association carried.

If we look at the metaphysical aspects of chest infections and congestion, it is grief which settles on the lungs.  My body was telling me it is time to clear grief from my life this grief immobilises us and takes away sparkle and joy, stops us from being out true light loving self.  My body is not going to let me get away with hiding away from the causes of this grief any longer, I must resolve it to move forward and have all the energy I need to do all the work I love to do.

That session was powerful and I went through many tissues as I embraced the pain and listened to that woman who had been locked in a time-warp separated from her tribe.  We freed her to lift from this plane of existence and join her soul family.  One of my beautiful beach yoga days we were doing yoga nidra and two young American-Indian men appeared beside me and started talking, in that state of meditation I was able to travel with them and go back to that time to see interaction, feel the love and respect we had for each other but also to laugh and play as we worked.

It was a wonderful joyful experience and as I write brings all that light and joy back again.  I also saw my Indian mother and saw within her eyes a wisdom and knowing of the pain that I had carried for so long.  I don’t know if this all makes sense but it was like me as I am now, interacting with my family as it was then and experiencing all the beauty of being part of that loving family.  As I walked through this, it changed the trauma of finding my village wiped out and my memories are now of the tranquility, connection with the land and water, the properties of the healing plants, happy times.

That has been a powerful and healing rebalancing process for me, the weeks of January with time and space for myself, along with beautiful warm beach weather, beach yoga to still and strengthen have allowed the integration and grieving process to continue.  It may seem strange to talk of grieving for something which happened in another reality, but if you think about the Akashic records as a library recording everything which has ever happened to you as a soul and although we think of this as a memory from hundreds  of years or decades ago, meaning a time jump, but in reality that memory is just like yesterday or perhaps the time just before your birth into this lifetime, it makes sense that it can still have a huge effect on us now.

At our birth it is said we forget everything which our soul has experienced before, in effect we have only the present and future, the past only starts to be remembered from the time of our birth and yet as a soul our past is still there.  Some young children talk of other lives they’ve remembered, so it seems as the veil is thinning that birth amnesia is lifting too.

I didn’t get to resolve that grief, there was no-one there to act as a mirror or help me move it, so that angry pain filled woman lived and died carrying that pain forward in soul memory, leaving something to be resolved.  In this lifetime I attracted a father who died  when I was 7, leaving me with a grief at an early age to be resolved.  I thought I had done that work, so many times I have visited it and worked on it and yet there was still another layer to be discovered.

So another visit to Jan with yet another chest infection, many tears and tissues used as I connected with a memory of my an overhead conversation of nana talking to my mum after my father’s funeral.  The lack of compassion and talk about needing to get on with life and provide for her 3 young children, me the oldest, froze me and dropped a weight of knowing that I was a burden, someone who needed feeding and clothing for my mother,  who I knew just needed kindness and nurture at that time.

That young girl took on the grief and responsibility, my outlook one of struggle and the need to work hard to earn money.  I’ve worked on that so many times, but Monday was another level again, where we freed that little 7 year old Suzi to go play, to do mischievous things, to fly a brightly coloured kite and to fly free herself.  Each morning this week I’ve woken with that vision and the feeling of freedom.  My early grief experience has now been reframed as has my American-Indian trauma experience.  I do feel the moon energies have pushed me to do this work so I am literally lighter and happier as this year unfolds, exciting, but so uncomfortable to do this work and to show my vulnerability to a friend and colleague.  I guess that’s just my ego talking, I received love and caring and that is a great gift to allow yourself to receive.

Now I just have to clear the physical effects of these experiences.  The 2 full moons, 1 & 31 January along with the blood moon eclipse have been powerful energies illuminating underlying memories held in my sub-conscious, which I’ve now brought out into the light with the help of my trusted and experienced energy worker, Jan.  Now I feel lighter, have dropped excess weight, feel strong and once I’ve rebalanced will be flying with all the support courses and work I love to bring about.  But first I had to address these things to free myself.

This is the potential of the work energy workers do.  You don’t always see past lives, they only come up to be seen when there is something needing to be understood.  We have 4 energy bodies, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual with a bridge through the astral from spiritual to the other 3 bodies.  There are times when we need to address one of those bodies and there are times when there is crossover and interaction to bring about balance.

We are waking up to more than our physical world and wanting to know how to enjoy these other aspects of ourselves, to develop that life mastery and create the life we love to live.  This is an exciting time as we realise the world is bigger than we have been led to believe.  I love watching this realisation happen for more and more people.  Energy workers have been training for years ready for this time and we have some beautiful gifts to offer people.

I have been involved in training people in this field for years too and the courses and retreat days I have planned so far for 2018 are listed here on the website under their categories.  I am still working out more dates as I lift my energy to take in Sunshine Coast training and Melbourne training plus open to offering meditation sessions where Garry and I work together to move people to another state of being with our voice work.

 

 

 

 

 

A Journey in-flow

 

I have a fascination with learning how to live well and I take on challenges and observe how I do these to learn great ways of manifesting living well and joyful lives.  I’m in the middle of another of these big journeys.

I am living in spring in Melbourne one of my favourite times of year here.  The mornings are  fresh, especially after coming from Noosa where this time of the day I would have been up with the birds, been down the beach for a swim and had my coffee.

What a huge journey I have travelled in the last 2 months.  I wonder if you have found yourself in the middle of such a life journey, found the stamina within you to keep the movement and action going but had little space to contemplate what your next move is.

This has been the first time I can remember I have done this without having a plan of exactly how it would work, where we were going, where we would live, and having lots of thinking time in sorting all the details.  Control I think you would call that.  This journey I have allowed to unfold day by day and ridden the waves of what is necessary in each step.  I have had to trust my knowing that it would all be OK and the beauty of all of this journey is there has been NO FEAR.  I have never lived without fear touching me, gripping me at times and making me want to curl into a ball and disengage from what I am in.

I remember now as I write, this is how it was when Garry and I were young and travelling with our backpacks.  I do know how to do this but now I have so much stuff, a house, many treasured crystals, a gorgeous cat, and all of it has to be sorted.  Every piece of stuff we have gathered and enjoyed has taken energy to make a decision on where it goes

Our journey has come because we have moved back to Melbourne to support our daughter in her becoming a single Mum, with joint custody of our grandson.  We could have stayed in Noosa with our idyllic lifestyle, beach swims in the morning, my beloved orange Vespa, but this feels the right place to be on a heart and soul level.

The most beautiful aspect of this journey has been the fearless aspect and the way we have been supported in every step of the way.  That hasn’t meant it hasn’t been pure huge hard work, little income for over a month, huge cost to get here, tears at times with the sheer exhaustion.

Garry’s car blowing a head gasket on the drive down and as I travelled behind him and watched him get slower and slower and finally pull into the side of a narrow busy highway with traffic whipping past close by,  the old fear rose in my gut and grew to a powerful and gripping discomfort which I have known well.  I felt it, played with it and decided it wasn’t going to be part of this journey, it moved, dissolved and I was free to go into action and count the blessings of us being 50ks from a friend’s property in Bangalow.

Our friend towed our camper to his property, travelled with Garry as his car was towed and we all stayed with him and his wife on their beautiful land where every tree and plant has been caressed with his love and the energy powerful and replenishing just what we all needed, me Dianne our wonderful helper and adventure companion, Garry and Ishka our cat.

Powerful energy trees on Possum Creek Road in Bangalow

Sunset on the road

 

Then there is the aspect of where are we going to live once we get here, no time to prearrange.  A friend overseas and his home empty a haven for us to ground and begin the next phase of our journey.  Garry starting a new job and me doing what I had planned.   Blessings as our friends who are away overseas offered us their home till they come back.

Beautiful property in Mt Eliza we are staying in

Next a house and once again my gorgeous friend Jan Winslade connected us with people who wanted to rent their home in Mt Martha, a beautiful little beach cottage.  We move in on Monday and are both excited to have this lovely place to call home for a time.  We do have to move out over January so if you know of anywhere we can live for a month, I’d love to hear.

Years ago when our kids were little,  Garry’s business had died after a big financial crash,  financially we were in trouble and emotionally low.  Every day I’d wake and begin to worry about how to pay the bills and these thoughts would follow me through the day and into bed at night.  One day as I showered and those thoughts came up again, I had the realisation that all this worry thought energy was useless, I still found a way to pay the bills and I was making myself sick with worry.

It still has been a journey to get to this place of freedom and as one of my friends reminded me years ago “you’re not a Saint yet Coombsey” I know there is a possibility fear may creep up on me somewhere, though I plan to move that fast.  This freedom is just beautiful and I find myself being present fully which I know I often haven’t been.  Another step in living mindfully present with integrity, I love me for being here.

I’ve worked with all of the energy support systems I live and teach and the funny thing is when you are so in the stream of doing and being so physical in getting things packed and moved physically  you can go out of balance.  Because you are pushed it is not as easy to do the things which would hold that balance.  One of the most powerful things for me is to do voice sounding in the shower, this brings light and movement into every cell of my body and puts me in a good space for the day.  I teach this in Level II Reiki though you may find your own sounding to boost your energy.

I still got tired through this process because there was no time off in this whole period and the days were often 14-16 hours just to get it done.  Amazing to clear your whole house down to bare bones, because there is nowhere to move it to and nowhere to leave it, a new start.

Many of us are looking for ways to love our lives, to be free of the pressure and feeling of being time poor.  This way of living is powerful and it works as long as you can keep the negative thoughts cancelled and deleted, choose good thoughts instead and trust that there is movement.  To remember this saying helps me – “There is a solution for every problem”, that solution will show even if it is at the last moment.  This is living fully, with light and love.  It may not be peaceful as you start this journey but allowing yourself to go free in this brings many gifts.

 

Ready for the new

I am taking time to replenish my energy after so much physical work and as I do this I have been quiet in social media as I contemplate the many blessings of this journey and get ready for the next beautiful phase of being here in Melbourne.  I’ll take my time out back in Noosa seeing clients and teaching there.  My orange Vespa is locked up in my carport ready for my visits and the house is now available for Air BNB people to enjoy  you can view it here    Air BNB – Sunrise Beach

Serendipity @ Sunrise our Air BNB home – the back garden
Courtyard off the master bedroom
Noosaa Main Beach