I’m going to call my experience a past life, though I can’t guarantee this is a past life, it may be a time-line I’m reading, it may be described as reading Akashic records, or perhaps just reading the collective consciousness, it doesn’t matter what we call it but this is my experience.
Over this last 8 months, I have had several flu like virus illnesses which have sapped my energy and is so unlike the way I am normally. After a while of coughing, high inflammation and lowered vitality its time to get some help to lift my spirits and that’s where I turn to someone who has developed the high level of skills in energy work that match mine, my lovely soul sister Jan Winslade. Lucky she lives down the road now and it is easy for me to get a treatment with her.
So before Christmas I booked in and as soon as I got on the table the Spirit voices came crowding in, one very loud and angry saying no-one is listening to me, no-one is listening to me. We opened to her and this is the time-line that emerged. She was a young American-Indian woman who was out communing with the plant devas and gathering herbs which she used to treat the maladies of her tribe. She was the chief’s daughter and had 2 brothers and a lovely wise mother, her family were all involved in keeping order and caring for their community.
When she returned to the village, a teepee community located in a lush green basin by a river she found a scene of dark desolation, every one of her tribe had been killed in very brutal ways and their tepees knocked down some still burning. Colour and life was gone, her brothers broken, no-one left to talk to. The sense of unfairness, anger and grief settled on her along with a feeling of having let everyone down by not being there to help.
I realised as we connected with her that all that heaviness and grief has been a part of what I’ve felt since I can remember and was compounded when my father died while I was aged 7. Some people have said they see sadness in me and I look in the mirror and see that reflected in my eyes myself often. As I hear other peoples stories of pain, those feelings stir.
I have always been aware of that American-Indian connection and not wanted to explore it, it was just something that was there and a bit boring because of its familiarity. My cousin’s Nana had bought them American-Indian dolls male & female, beautifully dressed in leather clothes, coloured bead necklaces, turquoise jewellery and feather headbands. Those dolls were alive for me and held a fascination I couldn’t understand. Years ago I commissioned a spirit guide painting and it showed a wise American-Indian man and was accompanied with his story. I was so disappointed because I knew that guide and had been aware of him for so long. I wanted to see something exciting something new I didn’t know. I never connected with that guide and I understand now this was because of the deep pain that association carried.
If we look at the metaphysical aspects of chest infections and congestion, it is grief which settles on the lungs. My body was telling me it is time to clear grief from my life this grief immobilises us and takes away sparkle and joy, stops us from being out true light loving self. My body is not going to let me get away with hiding away from the causes of this grief any longer, I must resolve it to move forward and have all the energy I need to do all the work I love to do.
That session was powerful and I went through many tissues as I embraced the pain and listened to that woman who had been locked in a time-warp separated from her tribe. We freed her to lift from this plane of existence and join her soul family. One of my beautiful beach yoga days we were doing yoga nidra and two young American-Indian men appeared beside me and started talking, in that state of meditation I was able to travel with them and go back to that time to see interaction, feel the love and respect we had for each other but also to laugh and play as we worked.
It was a wonderful joyful experience and as I write brings all that light and joy back again. I also saw my Indian mother and saw within her eyes a wisdom and knowing of the pain that I had carried for so long. I don’t know if this all makes sense but it was like me as I am now, interacting with my family as it was then and experiencing all the beauty of being part of that loving family. As I walked through this, it changed the trauma of finding my village wiped out and my memories are now of the tranquility, connection with the land and water, the properties of the healing plants, happy times.
That has been a powerful and healing rebalancing process for me, the weeks of January with time and space for myself, along with beautiful warm beach weather, beach yoga to still and strengthen have allowed the integration and grieving process to continue. It may seem strange to talk of grieving for something which happened in another reality, but if you think about the Akashic records as a library recording everything which has ever happened to you as a soul and although we think of this as a memory from hundreds of years or decades ago, meaning a time jump, but in reality that memory is just like yesterday or perhaps the time just before your birth into this lifetime, it makes sense that it can still have a huge effect on us now.
At our birth it is said we forget everything which our soul has experienced before, in effect we have only the present and future, the past only starts to be remembered from the time of our birth and yet as a soul our past is still there. Some young children talk of other lives they’ve remembered, so it seems as the veil is thinning that birth amnesia is lifting too.
I didn’t get to resolve that grief, there was no-one there to act as a mirror or help me move it, so that angry pain filled woman lived and died carrying that pain forward in soul memory, leaving something to be resolved. In this lifetime I attracted a father who died when I was 7, leaving me with a grief at an early age to be resolved. I thought I had done that work, so many times I have visited it and worked on it and yet there was still another layer to be discovered.
So another visit to Jan with yet another chest infection, many tears and tissues used as I connected with a memory of my an overhead conversation of nana talking to my mum after my father’s funeral. The lack of compassion and talk about needing to get on with life and provide for her 3 young children, me the oldest, froze me and dropped a weight of knowing that I was a burden, someone who needed feeding and clothing for my mother, who I knew just needed kindness and nurture at that time.
That young girl took on the grief and responsibility, my outlook one of struggle and the need to work hard to earn money. I’ve worked on that so many times, but Monday was another level again, where we freed that little 7 year old Suzi to go play, to do mischievous things, to fly a brightly coloured kite and to fly free herself. Each morning this week I’ve woken with that vision and the feeling of freedom. My early grief experience has now been reframed as has my American-Indian trauma experience. I do feel the moon energies have pushed me to do this work so I am literally lighter and happier as this year unfolds, exciting, but so uncomfortable to do this work and to show my vulnerability to a friend and colleague. I guess that’s just my ego talking, I received love and caring and that is a great gift to allow yourself to receive.
Now I just have to clear the physical effects of these experiences. The 2 full moons, 1 & 31 January along with the blood moon eclipse have been powerful energies illuminating underlying memories held in my sub-conscious, which I’ve now brought out into the light with the help of my trusted and experienced energy worker, Jan. Now I feel lighter, have dropped excess weight, feel strong and once I’ve rebalanced will be flying with all the support courses and work I love to bring about. But first I had to address these things to free myself.
This is the potential of the work energy workers do. You don’t always see past lives, they only come up to be seen when there is something needing to be understood. We have 4 energy bodies, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual with a bridge through the astral from spiritual to the other 3 bodies. There are times when we need to address one of those bodies and there are times when there is crossover and interaction to bring about balance.
We are waking up to more than our physical world and wanting to know how to enjoy these other aspects of ourselves, to develop that life mastery and create the life we love to live. This is an exciting time as we realise the world is bigger than we have been led to believe. I love watching this realisation happen for more and more people. Energy workers have been training for years ready for this time and we have some beautiful gifts to offer people.
I have been involved in training people in this field for years too and the courses and retreat days I have planned so far for 2018 are listed here on the website under their categories. I am still working out more dates as I lift my energy to take in Sunshine Coast training and Melbourne training plus open to offering meditation sessions where Garry and I work together to move people to another state of being with our voice work.